Surf's Up

I have written and rewritten this particular update more times than I can count. I don't know how to turn a clever phrase to tell this story. Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.





This is Kaiden. She just turned four last week....something that we are more grateful for than you can imagine. We met Kaiden about a year ago at a mutual friend's house. Kaiden was diagnosed with neuroblastoma (cancer) in May and has gone through a whirlwind of treatments since then. She begins her 4th round of chemo today. She had surgery over a week ago where they removed an 11" tumor from her little baby belly that weighed in at 4 lbs. They also took her adrenal gland, part of her liver and diaphragm. She's had her stem cells taken so they can replace them later, after the chemo. I get a lump in my throat when I look at this picture...one of my favorites. She is actually getting a blood transfusion as she rides this thing down the hallway with a smile on her face.


I am connected to this family in a strange way. We share mutual friends and I now work part time for Chad, Kaiden's dad. The pressure on this family, and their friends, is tremendous. They struggle with anxiety, fear and the need to stay positive when the statistics are staggering. And it is not just an emotional war...the financial impact has been daunting. But my intention here is not to pass on to you all the sadness of this situation, but to share a lesson that Chad taught me today. Chad stated that though this experience he wishes he could impart to both his children what he has learned about life:


Do whatever makes you happy as much and as often as you can, because when the bad stuff happens you really don't wish that you'd spent more time doing things that don't really matter. Chad would love to pick up a surfboard and hit the waves...that would bring him joy. Right now his focus is on holding it all together.


Please take a moment to send a positive thought or prayer their way. And do something that makes you happy...right now. Really.


To learn more about Kaiden or to donate to her cause please visit:

http://www.carepages.com/carepages/KaidenEvans/updates

Rewind

Sometimes I wish there was a "pause" button to life. Those moments you want to last for more than a fleeting second...better yet, how about that "rewind" button? Hmmmm...

Graduation brings a certain amount of chores to it. I am not sure this is used as a way to distract the parent from the imminent departure of the bird from the nest, or if it's a money-making scheme that our society has developed. A little of both, to be sure. Be that as it may, I was digging around looking for the appropriate baby picture of Lisi (not me??) for the Band Banquet slide show. This is always dangerous ground. I start with the best intention of trying to find a simple picture, and I get caught up in reliving the past! "Oh how cute!" "Remember when?" My quick task becomes a walk back in time!

Rewind to the first bath I gave her...Baby's First Year book open to the "how to give your baby a bath" section and propped in the recipe holder. All the proper stuff lined up on the counter...wash cloth, gentle soap, a towel with a little hood on it...all of this documented with bad photography.

Rewind to her first day of school (see previous posts for pic). Standing on the front porch of our home in Snohomish, backpack ready, lunchbox in hand. Very determined face.

Rewind to the first time she broke her arm. Then the second time. Then the third time.

Rewind to numerous trips and vacations together.

Or how about we rewind to moving to Southern California? Just a little life change.

Pretty soon the simple task of finding a picture has taken on a life of it's own and I have completely lost track of my day. A day that I have with my daughter here in my house, sitting in the next room.

Maybe I'll just push the "pause" button and go be with her.

The Commune

I've always wanted to live in a commune. I picture warm kitchen scenes where we are all drinking wine (ok, it would be dinnertime, not breakfast) and creating delicious, healthy meals. Everybody pitching in and helping wherever the need is...repairs, planting the organic garden. Stimulating conversations, NPR on the radio...sigh. Then I realize that apart from having people in the same house all day, we pretty much have this.

I reflect back to Anne B who called me the day she heard I was sick and said "Bring a pot to your front door", which I did. She met me there, poured the roasted veggie chicken soup from her pot to mine (so I wouldn't have to wash and return her pot). The memory of that soup still makes me salivate. Then there is Marty, who helped nail some board back onto my cupboards...I probably could have done it, but it really was more complicated, and involved laying on the ground nailing upside down. Awkward. Or the other day when I put our Sunday New York Times in a bag after reading it and left it on Tim and Suzanne's doorstep. I came home later to see the same bag on my doorstep with the LA Times in it. Smile. There have been too many dinners at the Macaluso's with friends to mention, and as many last minute calls for help picking up kids from school. I love this place. My happy place.

Oh, and the organic garden!! We had someone else plant it! Hahaha! Really! A group of nine families pitched in to join a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) in Camarillo called the McGrath Farms. We paid for a "season" of 15 weeks, and every Tuesday one of the families will drive to the Farm to pick up nine boxes packed with organic produce. The boxes are then dropped by the Mead's house, where we can pick them up at our leisure. We support our local farmer and we get the most amazing box of veggies, strawberries and herbs...sometimes even flowers!

So, I won't go into detailed discussion about the word community being a form of commune. Let's just say we feel pretty lucky to be here.

The College Search

Yes, it's true! She is wearing the "Reed College" sweatshirt! After a trip to Oregon last week, which included a day with "Reedies" she was ready to drink the KoolAide. She attended an African American Literature class and experienced the Reed way of teaching: The professor makes a comment and the class (ratio of 12-1) has stimulating conversation, all around the same table. They teach them how to think, rather than lecture. She feels this style best suits her, so Reed it is.

It's a good feeling to have the choice made. Now on to trying to motivate her to finish up this year!

Just a little taste

I have been meaning to change my blog for a while now, but my "Cheap Eats and Great Beaches" was a wash, what with the winter storm that hit Kauai about the same time we did.
I do have plans to write up the food aspect still, but for now you will just have to sample a little "taste" of our Drumline show. This season's show is titled Balance. The music is great and the performances are even better. I am adding this clip of a warm-up at a recent competition. No marching in it, because that is to follow. You'll notice Lisi front and center on the Tenors (the drums with 5 drumheads). Cool beans.

Little Lessons

It's Sunday in Thousand Oaks. Not only is it Sunday, but it is the afternoon, which means church is out. I should know better, but off I go to Trader Joe's for wine and milk. After circling the parking lot impatiently, I settle for a spot far, far away and make my way past today's charity cup holder at the entrance. You know them...you give a few times, then start to wonder...do they just go home and crack the can open, laughing all the way? Do I sound cynical?
The lines are as long as the day before Thanksgiving. Seriously. I greet a few friends, grab my few items and settle in to the "express" lane.
Then a baby cries and the woman standing one lane over offers to hold her. The mom hands her over and the baby settles down. Wow. What IS this place? Then an older gentleman behind me offers to take my basket in his cart. I accept, mostly because I feel like he would feel good about himself. We get to talking and he tells me he was born and raised in LA. Traveled a bit during WWII (Navy) and I ask about kids. He had two sons who have both passed away, and he goes on to tell me his daughter was a raging alcoholic until two years ago. Now she helps others on the journey to sobriety (I move my wine under the chocolate chips). No grandkids. Tells me he turned 90 last week and he and his daughter are the only left in his entire family. Then he goes on to tell me he feels so fortunate. He says he has a great daughter who is such a strong person, and he can still walk to TJs to shop. After I check out I turn back to him to say goodbye and he gives me a hug and a peck on the cheek.
As I leave I toss a couple coins in the can and feel an ache in my heart. Sometimes life feels so poignant. We are so lucky.

New Family Additions!

There has been a lot of debate this week about people adding to their already large families. I have my own philosophies on that subject, and since this is MY blog I will say I think adding 8 kids to a family of 6 is just a little, hmmmm..... sick? Ya. That's the word. Not that I am opinionated.

Then I thought I would share my own dark, little secret...we have added two new members to OUR little family.

Time to share...

We got this little gizmo, thanks to the recommendations of our cool neighbors Tim and Suzanne. It is an aerator that actually decants wine by the glass. You hold it over your glass, pour the wine in it, and as the liquid goes down, air from 2 little holes on the side is drawn in and oxygenates the wine. It really works. We did a test....VERY scientific. It is available from BevMo for about $40 and I love it. There. I said it.

Our next little addition is a fitness "program" called the P90X. Perhaps you have seen the infomercial? It lures you in with REAL people telling REAL stories of REAL fitness. I mean really...look at those arms! (not mine, btw) In the package are 13 dvds of various exercises. One day is Arms and Back, where you do an impossible number of push ups (who knew there were so many ways to do a push up?) and pull ups (omg, I hurt). Each day is about one hour of torture. Yesterday I did Kenpo (look it up) and one day was Plyometrics (you'll get used to my new big, sporty language). And let's not forget the hour and a half of Yoga. I almost cried. But now look what I can do:

I go from a push up into this yoga pose, then back down for another push up. Wow.

Truthfully, I have to say I don't look that different yet (from my mouth to God's ear) but I feel soooooo much better. I can leap, jump, squat, throw, and balance better than I have in years!

So it is only a couple new additions...sometimes quality is better than quantity.

Whew!

Well, we have had our share of big winds this week! Some serious Santa Ana's bringing hot temperatures and leaves in my pool....but the biggest wind blew through this house this last weekend! Lisi turned 17 on Friday...whoosh! 17 years since that child was placed in our arms. Are you joking? Don't you hear "Fiddler on the Roof" now? Sunrise, sunset.

Saturday was the Senior Ball. Not the biggest event for Lisi. The location was over an hour away, they freak dance, the food is just so-so. Lots of cons, but she decided to take out the sewing machine and whip out a little black dress and now needed somewhere to wear it! TaDa! I think it took her about an hour to make. No pattern. We know that she did not get this talent from us.

Then Sunday night she decided to invite about a zillion of her closest friends to her birthday party here at our home. It was a great blend of Band and non-Band people. They laughed, danced, played foosball and the piano, sang, and talked. They have so much to say! They blew into our house, ate all we had and left MNMs and cups all over. A tornado of fun. The absolute hit was the cake that my friend Lauren Piper made. She designed it to look like the tenor drums Lisi plays! Including drumsticks with gum drops on the ends! (she always has been an overachiever! It tasted fantastic too.)

The winds are calming down now...we might even get some rain this week (10% chance..hahaha). Time for me to clean up around here.

Milestones

It's a big week at the B2 home front...Lisi got her driver's license on Monday (happy dance) and she turns 17 on Friday! It's all good. Often Band students end up getting their licenses a little later than other students...we think it has something to do with their schedules. Lisi is a good example...she leaves for school at 6:40am and during the Fall Marching season she doesn't finish until 6:00pm at the earliest. That can put a cramp in any extracurricular activities. But now we are celebrating her new freedom and letting her take the car. Here are a couple of pics I took while hiding in the bushes. I will spare you the story of the scary-driver-test-lady. Don't we ALL share that same story?

And a pic of the little-little at Drumline Camp last weekend.

Bummer, and the mean mean English

So the little white paper came in the mail today and broke our daughter's heart. Rejection sucks. I thought about sending back my Cambridge sweatshirt, but it's a really nice one. Oh well. So I fell back on my Jewish cliches and started spouting off "When God closes a door He opens a window", and other such dribble. The bottom line is life is kind of like that: doors opening and closing all the time. I often wonder where I would be if I hadn't played soccer, or the violin, or if my sister hadn't gotten pregnant with Lisi....Wow! Life would be so different...(WHAT? Not the Band Booster President????!) Enough about me (hahaha). She will be better than fine, because she is a spectacular person. and now we get to check out what's behind door number 2 (and 3 and 4 and...you know what I mean). Thanks for being such supportive people for her.

Sitting still

OK, so this is on my list of things I could improve on: sitting still. That goes along with waiting, being patient, staying calm and a whole host of similar (note: boring) actions. So, for the New Year, fate (or Cambridge) has decided to help me improve on my skills in these areas. We wait patiently for any word and hear none. We make a pact to check emails and websites NO MORE THAN once a day. And I thought my fitness program was hard! Ha! I practice nonchalance...I really think I have it down until I see "one new message" pop up.
There is room for growth.