The peaks and the valleys

Just to start, I read and re-read what I wrote below to check myself because I can be labelled as "quick to go dark" on a subject. I don't want to over-dramatize OR make too light of a subject, but I also want to pass on the process of healing and moving forward. Share the love. I'm just doing the best I can, so read on:

The highs and the lows. We all have them. This week has been a roller coaster of emotion. You know how you have those times where you just feel so fortunate? This was that week for me.

I feel fortunate that I could be a part of the healing that this small community is going through. Last night was our first football game and the band performed at halftime. All of this took place after Pete's memorial in the afternoon. I watched a boy become a man, as Alex stood as the last speaker at his dad's funeral. We all cried as he cried and asked the crowd (too large to fit in the church) to please forgive the engineer driving the train, because that is what his dad would want. At half-time of the game, the Kish Clan were quietly escorted into the stadium to watch Alex perform. The band was great, and in a small way we all felt the step forward.

And I feel fortunate for the (small?) successes noted above in pictures. Lisi is a National Merit Semi-Finalist! She is one of 5 students in her school who earned this honor, the only other girl being Shirley, who is also in Band, and also a drummer girl. Very cool moment, and worthy of a whole blog in itself. I would love to describe a day in the life of Lisi, because, as many of you already know, what she does in a day is impressive for both its difficulty and need for endurance.

This aint high school like we did it! We are so proud of her. In many ways we feel that this is the tip of the person that AnnaLise is. Yes, she is smart, but it goes so far beyond that.

So today the weather is perfect...sunny and crisp. We have limited obligations, so the tempo is relaxed. This day is beautiful in many, many ways.

Perspective

There are occasional moments in life where things become cloudy and clear at the same time. This happened for me on Friday afternoon, when the Metrolink train wreck occurred. It was a surreal moment to see the accident and realize that it was the exact train at the exact time that I rode on with my niece, Chelsi, and Lisi and friend Cindy in June. I remember our train stopping for the signal light to let the freight train go by with a whoosh. Whoa.
Say a little prayer of thanks for a safe journey.
Unfortunately, one of our band students, a friend of Lisi's that she talked into joining drumline last year was not so fortunate. Alex's dad, Pete (Ernest) was commuting home on that train. I felt a pit in my stomach when I saw Alex's facebook asking for people to pray for his dad who was still not home and it was midnight on Friday. Pete, the guy with a smile on his face every time we'd greet. Pete, the guy who stepped up to run the pancake breakfast last year for the Band, even though he had one the next morning for his church. I got a text from Alex the next day that was gut wrenching and simple...his dad didn't make it.
It is cloudy right now. A heavy marine layer lies over this valley we live in. It mimics the heart. But for all the fog, the clarity is sharp: Life is precious and in a split second yours can change or end. Appreciate your moments.

On my honor...

I will strive, to do my duty, etc. etc. OK, here I sit, in the Ventura County Courthouse, serving my country. Better here than Iraq, as the Judge said earlier. It really is a fascinating process, this jury system. This is a huge case, a criminal case, that I can't talk about right now. Suffice it to say, it made my stomach turn when the Judge read the charges and the guy was sitting right there. One is always reminded that we are innocent until proven guilty, but man-oh-man, someone did something very bad. Unfortunately, it is a two week minimum case, so a number of us were excused. I now sit and wait to be called for a shorter case.

It took me all of 23 minutes to make the drive this morning; a drive I thought would take about 45 min. so , of course I gave it an extra 15 so as not to be late, so I had ample time to watch the scene. Lots of people arriving with books tucked under their arms. Once through the screening for weapons (thank goodness, as you know the boredom alone can cause one to do crazy things) we settle into the holding tank. Here you hear lots of sighing. The sigh of having to listen to them talk about honor, and serving, blah blah blah. The sigh of sleepiness that comes when air conditioning is played like white noise to lull the masses. The sigh of frustration as some of us are excused, while the sigher remains. Lots of sighs.
The second hand creeps forward...I learn the "secret code" for the WiFi access and give just a little sigh of happiness. Then they call my name.
Sigh.

Avoidance

I have been artfully avoiding my blog...checking daily for new comments, while feeling guilty over the lack of updates. I pin this problem directly on the political scene. I have a low grade feeling of malaise. This happens to me anytime I hear bitter banter. I refer, of course to the recent speech by Ms. Palin. I was hopeful that I would like her, because, as we all know, I like to like everybody. But I was chilled to the bone with her caustic, sarcastic speech. And doubly bothered to see the mob mentality response. Instead of hearing about how things were going to change, I heard mocking of the idea, as though belittling the opponent was going to help unify our country. In an age where we need more compassion we were dealt a severe dose of cynicism.

That said, I have hope that folks will look at the facts and use their better judgement. That happens sometimes, right?
I promise the next blog will have a few pretty pictures, and uplifting words, but for today I think this is the best I can do.

First Days

The first day of school. Always an exciting moment (for the mother)...new books, new locker, new friends (OK, so I don't get the new locker). This last week was the beginning of Lisi's Senior year, or what she calls her "last year of compulsory education". She willingly let me take the obligatory "First Day Of School" picture, as I have for every year that she has been in school. My favorite remains the first day of pre-school (above, obviously). The look of intent upon her face is a true display of the person she has always been: Ready for the challenge. As she drove us to school (see earlier blog) I was acutely aware of the passing of time. Now, we all know that it is usually about me, so why be coy? I wonder what my days will be like next year after driving her to college. I have given up the idea of following her (all breath a deep sigh of relief). She refused to join a sorority with me any way, so what's the point? (And to think, I had matching outfits picked out). So as she begins her senior year towards independence, I too begin mine.

"I Promise"

I think that's the name of the Band field show this year, but I am referring to the promise that will not inundate my blog readers with numerous blogs about Band. Yes, I have kept my famous "All Band, All the Time" quote, but am attempting to keep my Mexico promise to have a life. ( I definitely hear my band-parent friends snickering...and there is always Arlene's eye-rolling to deal with..more on that later).

Any way...today a few of us gathered together to attempt to create a prototype of the field show prop for this year. Arlene the Artist (and eye-roller) is the brains behind this endeavor. She located some material from a friend in the "business", therefore saving us a bundle while we tested out the concept. It is a pyramid that will eventually have one of the words from John Wooden's Pyramid of Success on it. There are many stipulations to this prop...it must have quick entry for a student, as they will be inside it and moving around the field. It must be light, and yet not light enough to take off like a kite if the wind is strong. You must not be able to see in, but they must be able to see out. Etc. etc. You see the idea, right? Arlene is very disappointed in the finished product, but she is picky. I kinda liked it. And this little video is my interpretive moment of how it will work on the field. Enjoy!

Band Camp

Most of those who know me see the signs....the edginess, irritability, eye twiching, night sweats...

Yes, it is true: Band has started!

It began on August 11th with two weeks of Band Camp. I marvel at the fact that teenagers will actually show up at 8am in the summer to memorize more than 70 pages of drill, tons of music, and then march in the 90 + weather for hours until they go home at 5pm, sunburned and exhausted. And they show up again the next day. I keep waiting for them to unite, look up in the stands at the instructors and yell "HELL NO!" Visions of Norma Rae.

On a serious note, it is marvelous. I cannot comprehend how they manage to sound like a Band in 2 days! They are so very, very good. But it is not without effort. Above are some pictures of the first couple of days on the field. They march for hours, learning drill, then spend the afternoon learning music. The show emphasizes John Wooden's Pyramid of Success, and they demonstrate it daily.